facebook glamour...sigh. lol. (*dunno whether to laugh or sigh)...
on the left, is a photo of me taken just 2 months ago, and on the right is a really unglam photo taken about the time when I first arrived in Australia. Honestly? I got my left and my right mixed up.

so i wonder how much people do change just over 2.5 years.

fats aside,
i find that i've grew quite different over the past year, and especially just over the past year... some good things, some not so good things... character, maturity, humour, personality, perceptions, values, christian-ness - some for better, some for worse... ....

sometimes i wish i could be a "better christian", but it doesn't seem like a choice i can make. its hard to make myself change... sometimes I feel that only God can cause that change...

and by better christian, i actually mean i wish i could sin less, make that choice to 'suffer' for the sake of the gospel, be less ashamed of the gospel in more areas of my life/friends, be more prayerful, somehow love God more, be more convicted.

just growing up makes being "christian" really hard to do... ... more and more with age, people (me) tend to accumulate sins and the opportunity to sin...

"Sin and let your sins be strong. But let God's grace be stronger." was a quote from Martin Luther I heard during one of the bible talks...

if being a better christian is about how much less sins you are able to do, then i guess i can't say that i've became any better of a Christian than I was 10 years ago (or less of a sinner from when i was still some sort of a child). if anything, with growing up, it gets worse. Secret sins, some so subtle that i never thought i had... some so blatant which I cannot seem to stop... new ones that now tempts... sometimes its just outright rebellion. Often, i just feel plain helpless.

but if being a better christian is about putting on a better brand of 'Christ' and showing it off so others see... if its about glorifying the Christ (meaning, saviour), then its really about knowing more, and more of how much of a sinner I was and still am, that God/Jesus should still love and choose to save a person like me despite what I do.

so i am thankful that God decides to forgive past, present and future sins.

then, how does one change to put on the "brand of Christ"?
i read on the news recently of a church of puts tatoos on themselves... (and collects offerings in KFC chicken wing buckets...). not for me maybe.

...looking forward to october conference, a 4 day 3 night camp just for thinking about Full-Time ministry...