in your anger DO NOT sin

The sermon was really a timely sermon.

I thought it was great, and it was exactly what God had been speaking to me this week.

anger was a problem for me for the past week...

I seldom feel angry at people, and when I do, it usually don't last long. But this week was different.

At work, there was this new colleague under me, who made me really really angry. AND, oh man... I felt like scolding him and blahhh.

It was a buildup from his work attitude, to pushing the blame, to not wanting to do work, not having ownership of his trainees... and so happens, I'm currently running a course now. His trainees are my trainees... and yah. I got really really angry when he decided to do something to spite me and my friend... and even called us **#!*...maybe vulgarities have become normal to them?... i really dislike vulgarities. You know, how difficult it is not to sin in anger...? and I realised it at that moment.

And I worse still, he's a new guy and this is the first course he has taken. And he's supposed to be understudying me and my friend who is more senior in position and rank and experience than him. Yah... It wasn't only anger, it was pride too. and I'm like.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... ok.

And It became so tempting to start to complain about how bad he was, wad kind of mistakes he has, all his flaws... and even my judgement had become biased. Everything else about him that had a flaw came to mind... past and present, from the time he first stepped into my office, to that very day.

then God tells me "Don't gossip..." ... wah. Complaining about someone is gossip too! It was really a struggle.

and You know what?...

I gossiped.

I still complained about what he did... and *sighhhhh

Suddenly, I felt so bad... oh man. God told me not to gossip...
(complaining to others about someone can be gossip too!)

*sigh... and but God still spoke to me more. He told me to start to bless him, to help him... and yah, it was just like what PsDaniel said during the last part of service.

There and then, this colleague went to bring the trainees to visit the different Navy Ships. And but, forgot to bring important documents that would permit and allow them to go on the visit... it was a chance to complain and get back and REVENGE!...haha, but you know? God told me to speak up for him and to tell my boss that it'd still be okay... and that things will work out fine because I'll be sending him the documents through the mail and get one of my friend to print it out for him over there. That's the first way I could bless him... even though he made me so angry that very morning.

Ok. So i thought I already forgiven him... well. i thought I did.

Sis Wp told us about anger, and gossip and yah, implosive and those I could really relate to... and when Ps Daniel told us to bless our enemies, that I could relate too also.

and You know something amazing?... God had already showed me verses on anger earlier during the week before that incident... and He did it in a very very interesting way. My dad was very angry at my maid for doing some stuff on purpose, and yah.. it was when he was reading his bible then. So i took a look at what my dad was reading and saw that he was on this page on the bible, that had the verse, bless your enemies, and it'll be like hot coal upon their heads.. and ya, my mum said, do not let the sun go down while you are still angry...

So verses like "in your anger do not sin" and like the one that says that if we "bless our enemies, it'll be like hot coal upon their heads", and like "do not let the sun go down while you are still angry"... these verses were what God had spoken to me before the sermon and more amazingly, before the incident that made me really angry with him.

and ya... towards the end of the service, Sis Wp told us to write the names of those who were were angry with and we wanted to forgive... I thought, Mmm maybe I'd already forgiven him. But I still wrote his name down.

"Tan Ah Gao" on the piece of paper...haha kidding. that wasn't his name..

ok. then Sis Wp told us after to write the things that made us angry... and when I started to write, the more I wrote, the more angry I began to feel again... seriously... and suddenly I realised, that it still affected me.

wow. you know, writing things you don't like about a person can be a litmus test to see if you are still angry or have you already forgiven the person...

yah.

So I went to the front.

I decided to forgive.

and God reminded me how when Jesus was persecuted and crucified, how he even asked God to forgive the people who wronged him. That was love.

And I told God to forgive the person too, on top of wanting to bless him.

it was great =D